Fairy Tale Castles

Germany Day Four

My wife was worried about the cloud cover ruining the pictures. You can't have golden hour if there isn't any golden sunlight. Over the 15-minute drive, we mentioned the lighting three times. Hohenschwangau and Neuschwanstein were on the agenda. We could see the castles on the way there. Some people even pulled over and started taking photos— it was us. We were the ones pulled over taking pictures. There was some mist around the castles, but I think it gave them an eerie look. We got some spooky photos—my favorite kind of spooky—broad daylight.

The line for The King's Ticket was very long. It could throw off our whole day. You need this ticket to see both castles. We've been beating the tourists all week. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to beat us to an attraction—but they did. They did do that. Too bad we already reserved tickets! Muahahaha (eerie, spooky castle laugh). We walked straight to the front of the line. She tried not to make eye contact with anyone waiting. I made as much eye contact as possible.

We started walking up the hill to Hohenschwangau, built by King Maximilian II of Bavaria. Good thing pictures don't capture sound. No, don't make a video—I'm out of breath. You could see Neuschwanstein on the way up, but it was still cloudy. It's the royal family's summer home. Oh, is that all? It's a castle—just a summer castle. Some guy said the rooms were a little small. I was like, "Bro, it's just their summer home. Chill out." This comment left me wondering how big the rooms were in that guy's summer castle. Maybe I should have made friends.

Inside Hohenschwangau, we learned that the entire Neuschwanstein castle was dedicated to musician Richard Wagner. This prompted him to visit Hohenschwangau quite often during the construction of Neuschwanstein, where he would watch from the window. There was even a piano he played and a guest room where he slept. The artwork all depicted ancient German myths—exactly what you’d expect.

Next, we walked up to Mary's Bridge, which was made from the creakiest wood they could find. And, of course, we got to hear it creak. This bridge overlooked Neuschwanstein Castle, still shrouded in mist, and the creaky wood only added to the ambiance. Afterward, we made our way back down the hill for our next tour. Downhill isn’t as bad, but it’s still walking.

Neuschwanstein Castle is the one everyone goes nuts over. It was the inspiration for Cinderella’s castle—yeah, it’s that cool. We were second in line, and I congratulated the guy in front of us on being first. I asked him his secret. He said, “I left my wife and kids at the back of the line.” #relationshipgoals

Inside, artwork by Richard Wagner adorned Neuschwanstein Castle. The only person to ever live in this castle was King Ludwig II of Bavaria, sometimes called “The Mad King,” and his servants. How many servants, you ask? Thirty—just for him. The throne room was gorgeous, but a throne was never placed inside. Above where the throne would have been, there was a picture of Jesus watching over the hall, with the 12 apostles depicted on the walls.

King Ludwig II died at the age of 40, just before construction of the castle was completed—under mysterious circumstances. Right after he was declared mentally unfit to rule, he went for a walk with his psychiatrist. They were both found dead in very shallow water, and it’s presumed they drowned.

We tried to drive through the herds of tourists—without harming anyone! People turned around and saw a car coming but didn’t react in any way. We survived. They survived. It only took an hour. We had Asien (the German spelling) food for lunch.

We returned to Hotel Sonne Füssen and watched some Netflix on our Amazon FireStick. Was either of us awake? Who knows. After some rest, we took care of a bit of shopping in downtown Füssen. I was after German beer memorabilia but didn’t find anything I could sneak past her unnoticed. I’ll come back later. There were beat-up, blown-up, medieval-looking ruins up on the hill, so we stopped by for some pictures. Then the sun started to come out. You know what that means. Wait, what did that mean?

We drove to a farm to take pictures of the castles. I thought this part of the day was over, but now the sun was illuminating the scene. I'll admit, it was worth the trip. It’s not like we had to walk anywhere.

Hotel Sonne Fussen had a romantic couple's, King Ludwig II's dinner special. It’s four courses! How perfect! Hold on. My wife wanted a salad. That didn’t sound very romantic. I went to the front desk to ask if they could do a single dinner special instead of the romantic couple’s special. Wait, was the romance still available? Did it cost extra? He looked worried and made a call. He told me that if I agreed to make a reservation, they could swing it. That wasn’t a bad deal. We had an hour to kill, so we did more exploring. We got to see the largest pair of jeans I’ve ever seen, so I’ve finally got room for my beer gut.

Back at the restaurant, there wasn’t a single other person there. Why the reservation? We ate while my wife had one of those mannequins staring over her shoulder—very romantic.

I was about to eat like a Bavarian King, and she was scrutinizing the salad menu. Finally, she decided on tomato soup. A soup was also my first course. They came out together—it was awkward. I ate beer cheese soup with pretzel croutons, salad with potato-wrapped prawns, dusted lamb crowns, and eggnog custard. She enjoyed the show. The romance was free, but I needed those new jeans.