England Day Three

West Minister Abbey is where many monarchs are buried. As well as many writers and other famous people. We saw the tombs of the entire Tudor line except Henry VIII. Since he abolished many monasteries, he was not allowed to be buried in Westminister Abbey.

On the way from Westminister Abbey to the tower bridge, it seemed like the best idea was to take a boat. Oh yeah, let's definitely sit on the top. Where are the clouds? I feel like a Sunday roast (it's an English meal). Good thing I have an umbrella in my adventure backpack. It was also very windy. The umbrella wasn't going to work. The heat wasn't so bad with the breeze, plus my wife showed up with a beer. I didn't know she delivered. We saw great views of the tower bridge here. While she took photos, I snuck off for my second beer. They didn't give ones as change there if they could help it. In the US, if your change is $5, a server will give you 5 ones in the hope that you leave 1 or 2 dollars as a tip. Here they just give you a 5. So then I quietly slunk away from the bar, looking confused. You can tip here, but it doesn't seem to be servers and bartenders' primary source of income. Most restaurants include a 12.5% tip. Most bartenders appear genuinely pleased with a tip rather than it is expected.

The views while walking on the bridge were lovely, but at what cost. We got across to The Shard, the tallest building in Europe. It was deemed so ugly that it looked like a shard of glass, and that's where they got the name. It had an excellent viewing platform on level 68, with a grass floor. Who cuts this? It's astroturf. The views were impeccable. They were so good I could sneak off to the bar unnoticed. They have like 4 beers-- is this the '50s? They had a Peroni-- original if you're keeping track, and I'm good with that. I was thinking of ordering her Dom Perignon, but her spider-sense went off, and she teleported to the bar. We got her the house champagne.

I asked for the Peroni in a glass because I'm a princess and the bartender noticed the glass was cracked. He asked if I needed a new glass. I told him I would handle the glass delicately despite my firm grip. He offered to transfer the contents to a new glass and then give me a complimentary extra bottle. Ah, yes-- the negotiator. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Me, on the other hand, was now double-fisting on the viewing platform of The Shard.

Well, here I was on my slippery slope. Why not go to a pub for lunch? The Anchor was a pub that we saw from the boat earlier. I bet they had fish and chips! Fish'N'Chips round 2. This is better than before. I'm thrilled with this meal and the beer selection here. Great stop.

Had I drunk enough beers to not complain about having to walk across another bridge? Nope! We walked across the Millennium Bridge. This was the one the Dementors blew up in Deathly Hallows Part 1-- so cool.

Our next historical stop was St. Paul's Cathedral. Here was where the Duke of Wellington was buried. They really liked this guy over there. He defeated Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo. I'm pretty happy about that too. Admiral Nelson was also buried there. Another great leader that defeated Napoleon in battle. The ceiling here was probably the prettiest thing I had ever seen. The very top of the ceiling was colorless in the Protestant style. The rest was colored and ordained with gold leaf in the Catholic manner.

It was initially all colorless, and Queen Victoria even referred to it as dull. They redid everything except the very top of the ceiling, and if only she could see it now!

The tube (subway) is jampacked. My wife got booed as she tried to enter. We needed a new plan. Have a panic attack? No, something helpful. We took a taxi. Me getting a taxi went precisely how you thought me getting a taxi would go. I mean. Exactly.

Full-on nap.

Dinner is at the French and highly regarded Oxo. I got the pork wrapped in Prosciutto, and it was salty excellence. The two of us got a bottle of wine, and they got summer cocktails. They somehow convinced the server to let them order from their 3-course summer menu that comes with a drink! All that meant was I'm definitely getting dessert. I wondered what my wife was thinking about. Probably eating my dessert. We split the lemon blueberry cake.

The next move was the oldest wine bar in London. We were on our way there, so it was safe to get fully hyped about the experience. What could go wrong? "Summer bank holiday."

Excuse me? "It's closed for the summer bank holiday."

"Which holiday?"

"Just summer bank holiday."

"Say 'SUMMER BANK HOLIDAY' one more time." I don't know what that is. We were in the mood for wine, so we found an Italian wine bar to quench our thirst. One that wasn't closed for the holiday that shall-not-be-named. Barbera D'asti is one of my favorite Italian varieties. We got a bottle. Then we enjoyed the show. An 80-pound woman was sitting next to me with about 6 plates in front of her. Just crushing pasta and chicken and something that looks like a hot pocket. The head chef was out here talking to her. Who is this lady? More food? Dessert! Ugh, can we be friends? Where did she get Ferro Roche? She had two. I have zero. Anyway, this wine was fantastic.

I went to bed and dreamed about being a food critic who doesn't actually have to write anything down. Thank goodness dementors aren’t real.