Austin Day One

"I love you so much," was spray-painted on the wall as we posed for a photo. My wife said we would be looking at murals today. I said, "Does that start after this pleasant graffiti?" Before, I was led to believe we were going right from breakfast to drinking beers. We had to look at some art first. I can put up with many things-- art is one of them. Especially when we stop for coffee first. Yes, we drank coffee at breakfast, but what about second coffee?

For lunch, we stumbled upon Torchy's. They had the most amazing tacos.

Time for breweries-- after a mile-long walk. Oh, hello beer. "I'm sorry, you can't sell me a beer?" What is your business model Blue Owl Brewing?! Apparently, you had to buy a pint glass at the beginning-- then beer was free. Now hold on, I didn't come here to do math. How many beers and how many glasses? Four beers per $26 glass, and you only get one glass. YOU HAVE TO SHARE THE GLASS. I said, "Let's go for a walk," while containing my rage as long as possible.

The first sip of beer did not come from a brewery. It was a coffee shop, called Cuvee Coffee, with some beer tap. I'd take anything at this point. They mainly had local beers. It was challenging to pick a beer since we later got these from their sources. I found one that we weren't visiting. Thank goodness I got this beer in me. I needed it to deal with other business models.

Zilker and Cuvee brewing had some hits, but the grand champion was Lazarus Brewing. The award-winning IPA, Walk on Water, goes on the all-time list. We found a place that we thought was called Moonshine Brewing. It was not a brewery but a bar. Those are acceptable. The bartender in the back bar, not the lame front bar, recommended checking out the CiderCade. They make their own cider and have an arcade. There's no way my wife would ever let me go there, so I employ my reverse psychology. I thanked the bartender and whispered, "Too bad that's not on the list," to my wife. Spoiler Alert: WE'RE GOING.

The only complaint about Cidercade is that they had no beer. The name gives that away, but I'm an optimist. The cider was still good stuff, and I was happy to partake. The games range from old-school to old-old-school. They had stuff even older than me-- which is bordering pre-historic. There are many side quests, but the only primary mission was to not spill my drink. I have been to many an alcoholic arcade, believe it or not. I have lost a beverage to celebration, defeat, and lack of coordination in every one of those. I made it through several decades of different arcade games with careful attention. I even played Tekken while staying dry. Everyone knows moving your body at different angles puts more power into the punches. Sidebar, while we played this game, a stranger stood next to me-- breathing heavily. I thought after the game he would ask to play winner, or you know, say hi, but he just stood there while I walked away--quickly.

Finally, my drink met its match. I stood watching a companion play guitar hero. He decided to live out his childhood fantasies through star power. The head of the guitar yeeted my drink from my hand. I did not say a word. I turned and left.

That's enough of the digital age. Let's get to real athleticism--Air Hockey. After crushing my gaming partner, we were greeted by a stranger. It was the Tekken guy--he was back. This time he started giving tips to my opponent.

When the final goal rang out, he fulfilled the prophecy, "I got winner."

I don't like to play strangers at games because I cheat. It isn't the best way to meet people. I agree to play anyway. We opened with some back and forth, and it was 2-2. Then this secret air hockey genius goes on a run of 4 straight. It was 6-2. My slider arm is aching. I'm sweating on the table--messing up puck mobility. I forgot how hard games were when you didn't cheat. Despite my torment, my opponent started to openly mock me. I'm swinging as hard as I can, and he's not moving the slider. I'm not kidding; he wasn't moving it. He left it centered in front of his goal, and I couldn't get through.

He blocked several shots in a row while shouting, "Blocked. Blocked. Blocked." Then it happened. One snuck in. 6-3. Thus began my return. Another. Another. One more! 6-6. Finally, I'm putting up a fight. He pulled up his shirt to wipe sweat from his face. I didn't know I'd get flashed today. I took this time to do my breathing exercises, as this is the most cardio I've done since they stopped letting me on the swingset. He dropped the puck and ACE! He won. I ran to my wife and said, "We gotta go."

Dinner was its own adventure. We had to wait in a line that wrapped around the building. They had in-line beer service! Take notes Universal Studios-- and all other line-having places. We grabbed a couple of Lonestars to appreciate the local culture. As usual, I tried to make friends in line. I looked at the tall group of guys behind us and yelled, "Why are you all so tall?" As one does-- very casual. They were from Denmark. This brings to mind the gentlemen from Denmark we met in Germany. "The Danish are the longest people in the world."

We needed a table if we wanted to eat the food we were about to get. A couple of us sneak out of line to get a table in advance. It's not like there were signs everywhere that said not to do this-- there were. "Do not sit down before getting your food." A server stopped by the table and said, you can't sit down without a tray. This was relayed to me. I grabbed a tray off the trash can and slid it on the table. I think it worked? After ordering enough brisket to feed a family of 5, I asked what everyone else would eat. We bought a dry-rub to recreate this brisket at home--it was that good.

Rainy street is one of those streets on which no one should drive. There are too many parties. Everyone is having a good time here except for the very bitter bartender who controls the 100 taps at one bar. After we started enjoying our drinks, someone came up to the bar asking questions. They asked about Jai Alai from our beloved Cigar City.

The bartender said, "That's a not very good IPA."

"Hold my beer," I said to my wife as I jumped over the bar.

We left the ladies in the room while going to the nearest target for much-needed water. We got directions from a very polite under-bridge community. I don't think you can call them trolls anymore. Plus, their riddles weren't great. While we were away, they ordered cookies. We hydrated, ate cookies, and watched MasterChef.

I wonder if there are any reality shows about air hockey?