Yosemite Valley is for Hikers
(so not entirely for me)
DAY SIX
Our first hike (walk) is along the Mist Trail to Vernal Falls. This is said to be the most difficult one of the whole trip. I’m glad I am getting it over with, but I also feel like I should have warmed up. I’m talking about stretching, not drinking (or both whatever). The journey was tough. I’m like 80% sure it was uphill both ways, but I passed the time by being on Bear Alert. My wife is concerned that I'll be disappointed if I don’t see a bear. I reassure her by saying, "I won’t be disappointed. I will be devastated." I took a selfie with a deer in the meantime.
Anyway, we made it. Or did we? Wait, WHAT? That was the casual part. Great, let me pretend I didn’t just have a pulmonary episode on the casual part. We have not gotten to the part that makes it the most difficult hike. We're at the bottom of the waterfall. We need to get to the top. Nobody told me there was a top to this thing! I barely knew there was a waterfall. We got through the straight-up climb to the top. The water flow is light because the water almost dries up completely by the end of summer. A lot of the waterfalls here are completely dry by this point.
I took a great picture of a squirrel.
Next, we are promised an easy trek to Mirror Lake, but is it easy? Of course not. I calibrate my eyeballs for bear watching. One eye looks for bears and one eye watch where we're walking. Ready, break. I tripped. We find some pile of dust with a sign that says Mirror Lake. This is it? It is completely dried up, but it was still so cool. I’ve never stood at the bottom of a lake before. You could see so much going on. Still great pics. There’s also a lot of shiny flakes. You all go ahead. I will be here looking for gold (and catching my breath).
Now, It’s time for the main event. The concession stand has pizza and beer. I need to replenish my electrolytes/health meter/energy levels. Whatever you want to call it. After a meal of pizza and beer, I’m basically invincible. Bring on the next walk (hike). My wife wants to split a pizza, so I’m trying to do pizza math. I need to calculate how much she wants to eat and then factor in that she likes the crusts. I think I’m being smart doing all this math in my head, but in reality, I’m just standing there not talking while my wife stares at me like... we get buffalo chicken!
Making our way out of the park we hit Cook's Meadow and Bridalveil falls. Cook's Meadow is a big open field with excellent views. Bridalveil Falls is a waterfall that is so wispy it looks like a wedding day bride’s veil. As usual, excellent photos are taken. (I don't know which places are which. Please enjoy the photos).
We head to an Airbnb that is inside the park! So there’s still a chance I can see a bear. Good thing I packed my night vision goggles (I don’t really have those - could you imagine.) We're cooking up burgers and I’m trying to open windows without anyone noticing. I want to see if they can ride out the smell wave, like in cartoons. They make them sound so cute. The warnings all say "a bear may be tempted to join you for a meal". Well, who am I to say no to a wayward traveler. Obviously don’t feed wild animals for your safety and theirs, but stop making the warnings sound like I’m excluding them from my tea party.
Now there’s one thing this day needs. Say it with me, Shrek 2. Did I get anyone? We watched the first one on Netflix a while back and have been so desperate to keep the trilogy going. We even tried to watch it on a scene by scene basis on YouTube, but half the scenes were in Spanish and there was an ad after each one. I was still on board but got vetoed. It wasn’t great, but desperate times call for desperate Shreks.
So there is no service here and the Wi-Fi can handle 1 phone at a time so threats regarding Instagram posts are being passed around. There is a tub of DVDs and Shrek 2 is in there! Buckle up. Where's my Zinfandel? I drink my Zinfandel from yesterday and try not to say every Shrek line out loud.
We watch the sunset from the hot tub on the deck and drink the rest of the Zinfandel and one of the chardonnays. Some hot tub water got in my glass and I decide to risk it (medical updates to follow). It tasted, good?
More Yellowstone tomorrow. What’s that? Oh sorry, my wife says we're in Yosemite. Goodnight!
