Plantations in Charleston

Charleston Day Three

We saw a peacock approaching us. There was a truck behind the peacock, and I began to worry about his safety. Then, he put his tail feathers up and started the show. We were at— you know I have no idea-- Magnolia Plantation Gardens. A kid ran over, and now I was worried about the kid's safety. Peacocks can be very aggressive. The next thing I knew, my wife was running over towards the peacock. She had her camera out and was trying to get the peacock's good side. I wish I got the same treatment. I made sure she knew that she was risking her life, and she ran back over, claiming it was worth it. I've seen the pictures— it was worth it. After the peacock and seeing all the beautiful flowers, I think it was a relatively short excursion.

Then they hit me with, "We are going to walk through the swamp."

"What kind of swamp? Are we talking Ogres, quicksand, or on our way to Mordor?"

"The kind that actually exists in real life."

"So, alligators. It's alligators."

We got hung up looking for alligators which we did see, and a couple of snake-necked birds whose name I refuse to look up due to a fear of googling 'flying snake.' We also saw about 100,000, or a more realistic number of giant spiders. The Silk Garden Spider was all over the place. On the way out, I saw a sign that said the name Audubon was synonymous with nature. I'm 90% sure it's synonymous with a BMW blowing past you in Germany while you're going 120mph in a Ford Focus— or is that just my personal experience?

We stopped at a Harris Teeter for provisions. They had a good beer selection for nightcaps. I went with a couple of session pale ales to keep the alcohol percentage down, but they still have some hops. This meant we needed to avoid spicy snacks. I was in the self-checkout line, and my wife did that thing where she forgot something in the store and left me to crumble under pressure. I remember this from my childhood. The third time the self-checkout helper had to assist— she just took over.

The first brewery on our list was The Baker and The Brewer. So, like scones and coffee? No, pizza and beer. So much better! It was a great first stop since we could grab some lunch. I put a pizza order in and tried a gose (goh-zah). Some were a little skeptical of getting whole pizzas. They wanted to snack throughout the day. For me, those two things are not mutually exclusive. After the gose, I switch to a session since I'm just getting warmed up. I checked with my beautiful timekeeper, and she said we could have two here since we were eating pizza. She corrected herself, "Well, you are eating a pizza." We got a sticker— that's two!

The next stop was Palmetto brewing. The only kind of Palmetto anything this Floridian is familiar with was the Palmetto bug. This place was named after the Palmetto tree. It's apparently on South Carolina's state flag— I knew that states had their own flags. I got a Bradley Cooper selfie of our whole group, and we made it up to the bar. There was a lot of merging going on in Charleston beer spots. Catawba Brewing operated out of the same space as Palmetto Brewing. I tried one from both sides, a hazy pineapple IPA from Palmetto and my wife's brown ale from Catawba. Against all odds, one of our two mango beers at the house is from here. I was being haunted. They do not have my shirt size; that makes me want a brewery shirt even more. They had stickers but— ew. They charge a dollar for them. I bought one, but it will NOT have a prominent place on my kegerator, good sir.

Revelry Brewing was stop number three? Where has this been all my life? This brewery had fantastic beer, the best shirts, and hats so good they made me want one. I pay way too much for my stupid haircut to start paying for hats too. A discussion broke out about why we think their logo was a trumpet. Theories bounced around but didn't get any traction. I didn't want to be a nerd and tell everyone it was a bugle— not a trumpet. I got their hefeweizen, and my wife got a rice lager. I tried their American Pale Ale, and it was terrific. That was at happy hour yesterday— the one that had happy hour. I tried a sip of a sour here, and I liked it— this is a turning point. Overall, a great stop. This goes on the all-time list.

Next was Edmund's Oast— the restaurant this time. We were at their brewery location a couple of days ago. Of course, when you have this many beers, they all seem to run together. This place sure did have great food! We got some spicy apps and realized we needed heavier-bodied beers. I switched from my slightly sour Berliner Weiss; I'm starting to like them, to a sweet porter. It's the Edmund's Oast Raspberry Peanut Butter Porter. I don't care who you are; this is the beer for you. This glorious beer washed away all of my concerns and wrapped me in a big hug. I always say that the more descriptors in a food name, the better it will taste. This isn't always true for beer. I don't know how I would feel about the Vanilla Hamburger Bun Crispy Fry Imperial IPA recipe I found on Reddit. However, I feel like this beer deserved all the words in the name— time to grab a sticker and head to our last stop.

Fatty's Beer Works made interesting choices. The location wasn't great: it was hard to uber there. The beer was a polar choice between a light beer and several high-alcohol IPAs. I didn't get the appeal of the AstroTurf we had to stand on in the sun. There was also a smooth jazz singer who was doing a great job. I felt like I was throwing darts at a board full of things you might find at a brewery. I asked for my last sticker of the day, and the bartender tried to make a deal. He said he would give me a sticker if I promised to drink more beer. I smiled, pretended I didn't hear him, and walked towards the parking lot. That sticker will go right underneath Palmetto Brewing.