Why the Long Wait?

Grand Rapids Day Two

We had our first ever good experience with a rental car. Could this be the first time in human history? We couldn't rule it out. We showed up for our rental and expected to hear they're out of our car type, or we have to drive somewhere else. It could be anything. The employee said, "Here are your keys. You're all set." My wife turned around to look at me. I looked back, and we went on our way. We got to the car, and it was lovely. We're not sponsored, so I won't name the brand. We started the car, and the tire pressure light came on-- there it is. We went back in and switched to a less cool car.

We drove our rental car to a coffee shop. This one delivered just like every other one so far. I've never watched anyone make my wife's chai latte in person before. It takes so many steps. I'm generally in the car at the drive-thru or have both eyes closed when I order. Today, I only had one eye closed while we ordered. I almost needed a second black coffee by the time her process was complete. We take these coffees and get in the car to drive to Saugatuck. No matter how you pronounce this-- you're wrong.

In Saugatuck, I realized I made the mistake of not listening after my wife stopped talking about beer. She had a whole list of things she wanted to do. There were two wineries and a cidery on our list today. Breakfast came first. We stood in line for a table. This was a long line. The line took long enough to realize that I was freezing even though it was summer. I changed into warmer clothes-- we weren't in Florida anymore. After the long line ended, we got to the host stand. We were told it would be a 45-minute wait. No. We just did the 45-minute wait. We have completed that task. This is the part where you take us to the table. They switched methods during this line. It was the table line, but they changed it to the name line. We fought back by asking for the text when our table was ready and then left anyway-- take that.

We enjoyed the beautiful scenery and chose to sit outside. The inside area looked like a VFW. Since we were doing wineries today, I decided to keep track of how many bachelorette parties we encountered. I lost count-- due to, you know-- drinking. There was a lot, though. All the bridesmaids at one wore black. I guess they were going for the funeral vibe. We moved to the next winery with slightly better wine and a somewhat less oasis setting.

The cidery rounded out the third time out of three; we were early for our reservations. We couldn't wait to get the day's drinking started. The wineries were happy to accommodate us, but the cidery was not. The reservation meant that we got a picnic table and a tasting. They still serve pints of cider without a reservation, and you can walk the grounds. That didn't sound too bad. They even had a hopped cider-- that's dangerously close to being beer! Of course, it was kicked. I am with my wife, The Keg Kicker, after all. She's a total jynx. The server had to wait for a barback to change it out. Since the keg was already there, I offered my services. As usual, they are denied-- always happy to help. We start to get excited for Saugatuck Brewing and decide to chug and leave.

Saugatuck Brewing had a very long wait. It looked fantastic in there, so we were happy to wait. My wife got our name in, and I got us set up at the back bar. I order a Napolean White Stout. White Stouts will be the next brewery trend-- the new Hazy IPA. Give them a try and tell everyone you're a trendsetter. I got comfy, found a table game, and left the tab open. We were gonna be here a while-- and the table was ready. I closed out and carried my freshly poured beer to the table. Can I complain that the table was ready too quickly-- is that a thing?

The food was outstanding. I love a brewery that takes both beer and food seriously. We had a great time eating, drinking, and listening to some guy talk on the phone. Why does everyone alone in a restaurant talk on the phone? To prove you have friends? You clearly don't have friends-- tell your grandma I said hi. We grabbed a brewery sticker on the way out, and my wife asked if I wanted a to-go six-pack-- I said no. Why!?

In downtown Saugatuck, everything was at your disposal-- except servers. Every place we stopped at had endless empty tables and a two-hour wait. We got to an empty baseball-themed bar and asked for a table. They said it was a two-hour wait. I asked about the bar, and they didn't think that they had anyone working the bar. I offered-- politely-- to check. The person I believed to be the owner said he wanted to maintain a quality of service and didn't want us sitting around waiting for service. I said, "I understand entirely. How about I get one beer, closeout, and don't bother anyone." He agreed to the deal and offered us the stadium seating overlooking the main drag to sweeten the offer. This sounded like a much better idea than it actually was. I remembered that I usually complained about sitting in stadium seats. We also sat very close to a family trying to dine.

At some point, we were going to need to eat dinner. The BARge sounds good-- that's how they spell it. We put our name in by saying, "Let me guess, two hours?" We waited at the upstairs bar while the time ticked down. A table opened up, and we sniped it. The server asked if we checked in with the host downstairs-- this is a moral gray area. We talked to the host, but it wasn't about this table. Let's just say we ended up with the table. Thanks for hearing me out. The view was spectacular. There was boat after boat flowing down the waterway. Think rush hour traffic-- with boats. We took turns picking out our dreamboats. I waited for the one that most resembles the door that saved Rose's life. After many All Day IPA's here, our table was ready downstairs.

Since we were at a place this close to the water, I had to get seafood. They had a few choices, and we all know I know my way around a menu-- except my wife doesn't know that. I made the best choice, and a few minutes later, they brought out fish sticks. My wife said, "Are you happy with your choice?"

"I stand by it."

After dinner, drinks were at Willy's. This was a garage band venue for local music. We got drinks and stood in the middle of the floor. There wasn't much going on in the sense of tables and chairs. We danced and drank until we decided to check out the hotel room of the night. It was a place to sleep-- let's leave it at that. I should have bought a to-go six-pack at Saugatuck!