DAY SEVEN

We got 4 things to see today. In order of difficultly, they are easy, easy, super easy, and easy. So I don’t know if my wife is misinformed, lying to me, or I am out of shape (I'm not taking votes, thanks).

The first (not so) easy hike is to Taft Point. This has the wide-open, right up to the edge, kind of stuff I’m looking for. I have to wait for my mother-in-law to turn around so I can do the hangover the edge type stuff without her worrying (I got caught anyway). Apparently quite recently someone base jumped off of this place and passed away. There are whole books written about deaths in Yosemite. It seems to be a pretty even split between people breaking rules/jumping fences and natural disasters taking lives.

The next (not so) easy hike is to Sentinel Dome. This was a fun one because the whole time you could see what you're heading towards. Whether or not you choose to accept that is up to you. I was in denial. "That's too high. I’m not climbing that. That's not safe they wouldn't let people up there. Oh no, there are people up there. I'll just head to the base. I’m going to have to go up there aren't I?" This might have been my favorite one. The top was so wide you could get a bunch of angles of different infinite views. I’m glad you only get to see the pictures. The video was ruined by the sounds of me wheezing.

Glacier Point is supposed to be the super easy one because you’re just supposed to get out of the car and you’re there. It ended up being like 15 steps (I survived). This had the best views. I'll let the pictures do the talking. Not the wheezing. As in I didn’t take a video. If I did, there would have been some minor wheezing.

These 3 things accomplished so far were all made possible because God loves us, and the trails opened this same day. The day before we got there these were all closed due to the recent fires. We had backup plans that got pushed back because we found out everything had just opened. We were so excited to get to cram everything in. On the way out we stopped for lunch at Big Tree Lodge, but since it is literally their first morning back they didn’t have any food. I guess I’m going to have a mental meal for lunch. I impulse buy a 6-pack that I'm going to fantasize about to get me to what better be a huge dinner! They also had Robert Mondavi wine at what I can only imagine were wholesale prices. I grabbed two bottles.

Mariposa Grove is where the giant Sequoia trees are located. We argue over whether to take the .3 mile, the 2 mile, or the 6 mile path. You know my vote (I got a 6-pack in the car). We agree on some sort of algebra where we combine the easy and middle tracks. We see the different popular trees. The good ones have names like the California Tunnel and the Grizzly Giant.

Speaking of Grizzlies this is my last chance. Unless I see one at the cabin (all i got so far was a turkey watching me do dishes). As I’m thinking this my mother-in-law reads out loud, "this area is not known for bears". Cool.

Then I hear, "GRAB YOUR CAMERA I'LL HOLD YOUR BAG. GOGOGOGOGOGO!" Lmao, what’s happening. "Don’t you see him?" "Who?" THERE'S A FREAKING BEAR. OH MY GOODNESS HOW DO I EVEN HOLD MY CAMERA. Play it cool. He’s really far into the trees.

He’s getting a little closer.

He’s not coming over here, is he? Quick. Try to look cool. Fold your arms. Lean up against something! Don’t geek out just relax. Is it weird that I’m starstruck? I break the park code by trying to get my selfie. I never actually thought he would come over here with all these people around. Then I looked around and saw I was standing there alone. He crossed the roped-off barrier and walked right next to me. I shouldn’t really be this close to a bear. It’s dangerous to me and the bear, but with him so close already, running away is not safe. Never turn your back on a predator. They will chase any fleeing animal.

The bear walks by me and I pretend to be brave. Then he stops to sniff me and I lost it. My wife says he was interested in the sunscreen my pale body was covered in. It was scented pretty heavily. I didn’t get any photos of this encounter because my whole group was too afraid to operate their cameras. Do not try to recreate this scenario. Respect these animals.

Now I need someone to drive me home because nothing is going to beat this experience. I crack number 1 of 6 and we watch Night at the Museum. It’s been a while for me and my wife has never seen it. It goes well even though I wanted to watch The Magic of Rick Thomas (don’t worry I put it in later). Who has something like that on DVD? Our Air Bnb sure does. Then everyone goes to bed, but I'm so full of life-changing bear-related adrenaline that I stay up with 2 through 6 of 6 while watching Disney's Earth. Why the heck is it so sad?! I thought this was just like cute animals playing. I’m going to need wine if I'm going to sleep tonight. #pinotnoir