Iceland Day 5
Iceland Day Five
The Blue Lagoon is one of the 25 wonders of the world. It's essentially a giant hot tub, and it’s the perfect way to relax before your flight. They have showers there, and when they say you have to use them, they mean it. There's one building with armed security in all of Iceland, and guess what? It's not the Blue Lagoon—it's the US Embassy. But the Lagoon does have a guard stationed to make sure you're clean before entering their giant hot tub. They’re big on cleanliness, you see.
The water itself is hot but perfect. There's a swim-up beauty bar where you can get as many Silica mud masks as you want. And if you spring for an upgraded package, you also get an algae mask. They advised me not to get any Silica in my beard, which, frankly, offended me a bit. But they highly recommended the algae mask for beard-owners like me, so it was all worth it. If you have a beard, get the upgraded package. Trust me.
Now, for the swim-up regular bar. This was more my speed, though I still loved that algae mask—mostly because it’s beard inclusive. So yeah, a swim-up bar, a giant hot tub, and beauty treatments for every type of facial hair. I’m doing alright.
It was windy that day, but easy to stay neck-deep in the warm water. The lifeguards were in full snowsuits because the air was freezing, and their little life-saving boogie boards looked hilarious with all the puffiness. There were also two giant heated waterfalls. One was gentle, the other, not so much. I thought, "I got this," and immediately got pummeled. Choose wisely.
Now, when it's time to split for the changing rooms, make sure you plan to meet at the café. Don’t wait by the exit of the ladies’ room like it's a bar bathroom. The changing rooms are a labyrinth of hidden tunnels. She could pop out anywhere. I thought she was taking forever, but in reality, she had been waiting for me for 30 minutes. I thought I was being a gentleman. She thought I was being a moron. She’s usually right.
The plane ride home was the polar opposite of the one there. Our seat neighbor was this amazing woman who had just finished backpacking through Europe solo. She was super kind and asked all about our trip, which gave us the perfect opportunity to rehearse our couples’ storytelling. She even pulled out a pencil and paper and literally took notes. Happy to oblige.
I took full advantage of the 2-for-1 Icelandic beer special while my fiancée made use of the comfy chairs and took a nap. She woke up when she heard the snack box I was opening—part of being in love is anticipating each other’s needs, right? So, I anticipated that she needed the snack box, which came with a glass of wine. I watched movies and TV shows the whole time for free. Sleep? I’ll get that at home.
There were two things I didn’t expect. The first: she’s going to be very well-rested when we land. The second: when we landed, her mother handed us a binder titled “Wedding Planning.”
I’ve come up with two categories for engaged couples. The first is “Engaged”—this is where she wears the ring, and the conversation pretty much stops there. The second type is “Binder Engaged”—this is where you give her the ring, and she (or her mother) hands you a binder full of wedding options. I guess I’m officially binder engaged now.
Until I get dragged somewhere else,
A Lazy Husband.
