ICELAND

DAY FOUR

So, this was the whole day. It was a four-hour-long tour of a glacier. How do you tour a glacier? You walk on the glacier. It was incredible. We went through an ice tunnel, did some ice climbing, and drank water directly from the melting glacier. There was a lot going on. There was even a guy digging the tunnel as we were walking through it. I’m hoping it was just maintenance. Otherwise, they were making a shortcut just for us. Which I’m also into. Next, we saw a giant hole. No problem. We can just walk around that. Nope, we walked right towards it. They used a giant corkscrew to anchor us into the ice. I bet this guy can really open a bottle of wine. My fiance went first and looked into the hole from about 3 feet away. Then it was my turn. She told me to get right up to the edge and look down. Sure thing. Here I am risking my life for photos once again. I guess she prefers the photos over me. I’m completely horizontal, depending on a wine-opener to keep me alive. The ice climbing was the best part. I think I enjoyed it more than anybody else though. Most people only climbed over the wall once. I went three times. The tour guide gave me one of my new favorite phrases while I was on my way up the Ice-wall. “Strong people always have the worst technique." I don't know if I was more flattered or offended, but I sure was both! I thought I was holding everyone up by wanting to climb so many times, but we were actually given free time to roam the glacier. I guess people weren’t just sitting there watching me climb. That’s their loss. My climbing adventure ended like any other fun I have. I almost hit myself in the face with the ice pick. Not exactly like every other bit of fun, but you'd be surprised. They really did let us wander despite the random holes from the actual melting glacier. They gave us sound advice like, “Don’t walk too close to the holes.” Understood. When the possibility of drinking directly from the glacier came up I was on my face almost instantly. Just like I would have been the whole time if I wasn’t wearing Cramp-ons. They help you walk on the ice. They snap over your shoes and they cover your feet in spikes. I was wrist deep in the mini river, showing off my water-proof gloves before the tour guide could do his bit. I felt kind of bad because it was really cool. I didn’t know he had a show planned. When he mentioned drinking from the stream he had a follow-up routine. He probably didn't expect some nerd to fall on his face out of pure excitement over the concept of drinking water from the ground. He took the tour-provided ice pick and slammed it into the ice. They actually told us these are useless for glacier walking, but they look great in photos. Then he made sure the bar was across the stream, put his hands at either end and did a push-up. At the bottom of the push-up, he took a drink. After the in-tour entertainment, we headed back to the parking lot.

On the drive back we saw horses along the road. If you are lucky enough to see any horses standing along the fence you can pull over to the side of the road and pet them. I am serious. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Did I say that right? The horses like to eat the really green grass and if there is some outside of their reach they will lean over the fence so that you can feed them by hand. They just need a little help getting their greens! Icelandic ponies have very strict laws. About them. Not among themselves in some sort of Icelandic pony society. That’s only the sheep and their wool. Ponies are a little more free-spirited. At least to my knowledge. You are not allowed to import horses into Iceland. If you take a horse out of Iceland it is not allowed back. You can pet them only if you feed them. Now that is their rule. They are all business. I tried to feed them grass that wasn't quite green enough and I was shaken off. No free petting here. They are also very strong and the shake-off was quite intimidating. You have to pay to play. Apparently, horses move in different gaits. Standard 3 are walk, trot, canter, and gallop. The Icelandic pony adds a tolt and a pace. They are overachievers (a stolen joke from our tour guide).