DAY FIVE

The Blue Lagoon is 1 of the 25 wonders of the world. It is a giant hot tub. It’s very relaxing before the plane ride. They have showers there and you have to use them. And I mean HAVE to. There is only one building with armed security in all of Iceland and it isn’t here. It’s the US Embassy of course. But the Blue Lagoon does have a guard to make sure that you are using the showers. They like to keep their giant hot tub clean, so they want to make sure you’re clean when you enter. The water is hot but perfect. There is a swim-up beauty bar where you can get all the Silica mud masks that you want. If you get one of the upgraded packages you also get an algae mask. It was advised that I did not get any Silica in my beard. Which offended me, but the algae mask was highly recommended to get deep down in the beard. If you have a beard you should get the upgraded package. On to the swim-up regular bar. This one is more my kind of bar, but I still loved the algae mask. Mostly because it is beard inclusive. So there is a swim-up bar in a giant hot tub, with beard and non-beard beauty treatments. I’m doing pretty good. Our day was pretty windy, but it was easy to stay neck-deep in the water. The lift guards were in full snowsuits since the air is freezing. Their little life-saving boogie boards looked funny with the puffy jackets. There are also two heated giant waterfalls that I rather enjoyed. You have to put up with some wind to get there. They had one gentle waterfall and one that kicked my ass. I said, "I got this." And then got pulverized. Choose accordingly. After you separate to go to your changing rooms organize a plan to meet at the café. Do not wait by the exit of the ladies’ room like standard bar bathroom etiquette tells you. The changing rooms are an intricate web of hidden tunnels. She could come out anywhere. I thought she was taking a long time. In reality, she was waiting for me for 30 minutes. I thought I was being a gentleman. She thought I was being a moron. She’s usually right.

The plane ride home was the polar opposite of the plane ride there. Our seat neighbor was a wonderful woman who just got done back-packing Europe on her own. She was so kind and asked all about our trip. It gave us plenty of time to rehearse our couples-storytelling. She got out a pencil and paper and literally took notes. Happy to help. I took advantage of the 2 for 1 Icelandic beer special while my fiance took advantage of the comfortable chairs and took a nap. She woke up from her nap when she heard the food wrapper I was opening. Part of being in love is anticipating each other’s needs. I anticipated that she needed the snack box. It came with a glass of wine. I watched movies and television all free the whole time. I’ll sleep at the house. There were two things I didn’t plan on. The first is she is going to be very well-rested when we land. The second is that when we landed her mother handed us a binder that reads “Wedding Planning”. I have two classifications of engaged couples. The first is just “Engaged”. This is where she wears the ring and there is no further conversation about the matter. The second type is “Binder Engaged. This is where you hand her a ring and she (or her mother) hands you a binder full of wedding planning options. I guess I am binder engaged.

Until I get dragged somewhere else,

A Lazy Husband.